I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I cockslap morals
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
