if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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