I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
