I want you more than these girls want KFC
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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