I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
