He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
