Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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