yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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