I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
