the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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