Don't you send me to vm
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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