I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you will always have a special place in my vag
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
