I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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