Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
