look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
