PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dear god my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
