Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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