guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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