We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
