I'm really into asian looking animals
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We left the knife in your bed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
