today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just gift wrapped bread.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
