i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
