i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize