im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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