Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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