can we get nightvision for the apartment?
4 words: hood of his car
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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