Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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