So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
