think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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