Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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