I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
