I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
