My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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