i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
