He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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