Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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