i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
