Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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