I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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