At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
