haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
