my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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