He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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