I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
