i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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