I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
