No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
