just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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