Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
