So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
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I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
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The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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