i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
