I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
