i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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