people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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