But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
