You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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