just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
