the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
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I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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