She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We got so high we made milksteak
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
