he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize