dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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