I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
