mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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