Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
