yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
