mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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