Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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